Thursday, 17th June 2010:
Although most people will testify, that I specifically stated that we would leave on the dot as soon as I got home, we actually left at 1:20. I brought all of my chewing gum and put all 5 un-opened packets in with Dad’s 3 un-opened packets. We probably won’t run out of chewing gum any time soon. Once we were actually on the road, there wasn’t a great deal that went on. We passed through Finley at 2:45, and around this time, there was a radio story about teenage boys. The story covered what influenced them (I should really be writing “me” instead of “them”, as they mainly focused on the 16 year olds.), the damaging things that they are/I am exposed to. Things like pornography, domestic violence & videogames. Now, I know that I am pretty outspoken when it comes to videogames being a bad influence on young minds, but if a child is exposed to an extremely violent video game, it’s the parents fault. I was fortunate enough to have parents that classified all of my games until I was about 12. Before that, the only games I was allowed was the likes of Spy Fox and Pajama Sam. Those games I still play today as a bit of nostalgia kick. But back to this terrible radio story. It also covered the fact that as guys get older, they get more self-conscience of the appearance. Now that I think about it, the story wasn’t really that bad. It was the awkward silences that followed as the story progressed that really got me. That and Mum constantly complained that she had a huge load that she needed to get rid of.
As we traveled on, we witnessed a rare event in the history of dry grass umbrellas. Nearly all the umbrellas that could separate themselves from the ground were trying to cross the road. Further investigation into this revealed that this has come to be known as the “Great Unfolding of the Umbrellas”. Although most were unsuccessful, as they got caught on the other side of the road, in the fences surrounding paddocks.
When we finally got to West Wyalong, it was 5:30. After a long painful scrape up the driveway of the “Country Roads”, we went inside the room only to discover that it was the exact same room that we stayed in 2 years ago. No matter, we settled in perfectly. After some lovely pumpkin soup, we wound down with “Do. No”. Could Sean Connery get any cooler?
After the bedtime cry had been announced, everyone piled into their respective beds. I tried to go a night without a videogame, but it was nearly impossible. “Quick! Out of bed and grab your DS!” said my brain. Not being one to question myself, I got my DS and settled in for a quick play of Apollo Justice. The night soon took hold.
Friday, 18th June 2010:
Woke up with the sound of Mum’s phone playing the “Samsung Theme Song” as an alarm at 5:00. “Where’s the breakdown?” responds Dad. This is a natural occurrence for Dad as the workshop phone has the song set as the ringtone, and it sounds the same tune every time a night driver has a problem.
Got up and started to watch Today. Mum asked what I was going to have for breakfast. I usually have porridge, but since the measuring cups were buried deep into the back of the car, I didn’t want to take any chances with a bad bowl of porridge. I ended up having 4 pieces of raisin toast instead. Started the audio/visual day with kids show “Action Man A.T.O.M.”. It was really good. Although it had nothing to do with the Action Man franchise that was around in the late 90’s to early 00’s.
Another long-and-increasingly-painful-scrape-from-the-rear later, and we were on the road again at 6:45. Mum believes that she should sit in the front instead of me, and I quote, “I think there is someone heavy in the back.” Driving out of West Wyalong, we see a really nice sunrise. Pictures follow:
Went through Forbes, and looked at what was supposed to be Dad’s grandmother’s on his Mum’s side’s house. I’ll give you some time to read that through a few more times……… Okay, that’s enough. Not enough time? Too bad, your attention has been stolen, ha ha ha. Went through Parkes and I was hotly anticipating Sam Neil to pop his head out to say hello. That was a pop culture reference by the way. Out the other side of Parkes, everything was green and we saw the dish from the road.
Mum decided to put on one of the DVD’s Mahala had brought. So she set up my DVD player to watch “Enchanted”. She put the DVD in and turned it on, only to be met with the sound of a disc scratching. She hadn’t put the disc into all of the holders, and it was MY DVD PLAYER!!! Well, on the plus side, the disc will be scratched and at least it wasn’t a good movie.
The road works have started this year. Several times we were slowed to a crawl and even stopped. And the funny thing is, they are always working on the same strip of road every time we come up this way. It must be the only piece of road that the authorities bother to operate on, because I can think of lots of roads whose conditions are a lot worse than that. Maybe it’s some sort of government incentive. To not lose jobs, they told workers to get tot work on perfectly good roads.
Stopped in the bustling city of Dubbo, bought lunch and had a snack. Witnessed the expansive empire that is Furny’s.
Every time we go through Dubbo, they have added an extra building to their global economic conglomerate. They’ll probably end up taking over the world if Google doesn’t beat them to it. Found a kookaburra sitting on a wheelie bin. Tried ever so hard to snap a picture of it, but my most successful shot was just a picture of a bin. He had flown off right before I pressed the shutter button. Over the road from the bin, was a rather funny sign:
I think I might have to send that in to Hey Hey.
For lunch, we stopped at Coonabarabran. Home of the dreaded geese. Mahala was on high alert the entire time we were there, constantly watching their every move. Every time they made a noise, she flinched. She really hated those geese. The lunch we bought in Dubbo was beautiful, shame about the white bread though. Coonabarabran was also the place where I left a rather rank gift. It took me a while to deal with it, but I’m happy to say that I’m not carrying it with me anymore. Let us all have a minute of silence as it floats off to it’s watery grave.
Ahh… Moree. “Heart of Australia’s artesian country”, or something like that. I’ve forgotten what was written on the entrance sign. We arrived in Moree at 3:50 after 220km of driving from Coonabarabran. We are staying at the “Dragon & Phoenix Motor Inn”, a family favourite. We’ve been staying here for the past 4 years. It’s got an artesian pool and was even once an accommodation hotspot for former Prime Minister John Howard. This motel is a must-see for all Liberal die-hards. The artesian pool, if my memory serves me correctly, is heated to 41°C. I wonder what it’s like to jump in it on a 40° day? The room that we have been given is the exact same one that we got last time. It’s West Wyalong all over again. No matter, we settled in perfectly. After a brief trip down the main street to get some milk, we got back to the room and jumped in the pool. It burns when you first get in, and you’re freezing when you get out. Slowly becoming a prune as time goes by.
Once out, I fought a battle with an angry hot water service that refused to stay a constant temperature and yelled at me when I did the right thing. The day ended with some more pumpkin soup for tea, and watching the likes of Terry Gilliam travel around the U.K. following some sort of historical atlas. During the night, I woke up at some crazy hour, and I heard a man shouting (or at least I think it was a man). I was half asleep and not thinking too clearly, but I’m sure he was shouting something about spotted turtles. “Wanna buy some spotted turtles!?!” he would shout, or at least I think that’s what he said.
Saturday, 19th June 2010:
The next morning, woke up to the same damn tune as the day before. I was really sleepy as I had stayed up and played Air Traffic Chaos for about 40 minutes after everyone had gone to sleep. That and Mahala wouldn’t stop tossing in her bed. Had a bowl of porridge and 2 pieces of raisin toast. Nothing special, but it’ll keep me going until 10:00. Got on the road at 6:45, and the morning was positively freezing. Couldn’t see into the car from the outside, couldn’t see out of the car from the inside. We jacked the heater right up and soon solved that problem, however our faces started to melt. The sunrise really wasn’t anything special. My previous pictures are probably the best things I can use to describe this morning’s. Just an orange ball that slowly rises through the ground and blinds anyone who looks at it.
We finally crossed the border at around 8:10 and drove into Goondiwindi, passing an awesome sign with a smiling horse on it. Tried to tap into a few unsecured networks whilst driving through, but as soon as I’d established a connection we had driven out of range. Damned slow networks!
The entertainment value of the radio has gradually lost its flair as the trip goes on. With stations that we are familiar with being lost early on, we have had to try and get to know other stations. With Dad being a talkback radio kinda guy, the selection has dried up rapidly. There are no good talkback stations anywhere on the airwaves. The only talkback stations have shows geared around horse racing. Not Dad’s cup of tea. So in I step and plug my .mp3 player into the sound system in the car. Soon we are listening to Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd & Cat Stevens. And many more artists that I could name but won’t.
During the time between Goondiwindi and Toowoomba, we were rapidly running out of fuel. Like anybody’s car, it needs fuel in the form of unleaded petrol to make the explosion (internal combustion for all you technical dudes) that pushes the pistol down and turns the crankshaft which is connected to the gearbox which drives the differential which drives the rear wheels. I’ve probably missed a step or two in that sentence, but bear with me. Goondiwindi is the usual watering hole for the car on our bi-yearly trips, but this year, it was seen as too expensive. With the tank signaling ¼ of a tank, Dad decided to fill ‘er up at Milmerrin. Once in Milmerrin, the BP that we were going to fill up in was closed and had a tanker in with the bowsers. So Dad decided to fill up at Pittsworth. Pittsworth is a tiny town off the Gore highway. There is a tiny sign to signal the exit. A tiny amount of driving space to make the turn. And Dad had a tiny fuse when he learnt that he had drove right past them both without noticing them. With the needle pointing just above E, he decided to fill up in Toowoomba. The refuel light was flashing and beeping, and Dad didn’t reckon we would make it to Toowoomba had there not been another tiny sign and tiny turnoff about a minute after the main one. Once in town we found a farm supply store that was also somewhat of a servo. The price was 132.9 and Dad filled it up to the top. He wasn’t too happy when he realized that it was dearer than in Goondiwindi. We exited Pittsworth and started back on the Newell again, only to drive past a servo that was selling petrol at 129.9. “I could have saved 5 dollars.” he mumbles. Fuel has been gradually getting cheaper as we kept driving along.
Toowoomba was home to Big Dad’s Pies. They are the best pies I have ever had. Period. I had an egg, bacon & onion pie, and it was huge. 300g’s of pure pie perfection. And it had a whole egg in it. A nutritionist would probably gag at the thought of such a thing, but it was beautiful. I want more. Here’s a picture for size comparison:
The cars have appeared, the road signs are visible, the weather is beautiful, we’re starting to see more Victorian number plates than Queensland and SHIT is that the sea!?! Yes, we’ve arrived. Burleigh Heads is our final stop until we start to head home again. We arrived at [Insert time here], and collected our key for apartment #4 at Bon Sol. It is a wonderful place that will serve us perfectly. I do have a few issues though. My only issue with the unit is that it doesn’t have a phone line. What apartment doesn’t have a phone line? I brought the modem all the way up to Queensland with the intention of plugging it into the phone line so that we would have Internet. My other issue is that the people here are way too smart. All of the networks that I would’ve tapped into have been passworded.
People in the CBD of Melbourne are stupider than this. All the unsecured networks are hotspots that require you to pay and are completely useless to me. Anyway, looks like I’ll just have to resort to Internet Cafés.
After unpacking the car, we went for a walk down the main street to see what had changed since we had last been there. A whole range of shops have closed down and have been replaced with newer ones. The cheap-shop near the main street has shut and has been replaced with a Nando’s and a Seven Eleven. But, we were all glad to see that “That Shop” was still operating. “That Shop” caters for what I would call a very niche market. A sort-of cross between Emo, Japanese & Pop Culture all rolled into one. It is, and still remains, one of my all-time favourite shops ever. I have already spotted an NES controller satchel that took my fancy and a whole range of Death Note merchandise. I will probably buy an L themed wallet.
After our little romp around the little main street, we headed up an apparently giant hill to where Nan & Pa were staying. By the time we got inside, Mum and Mahala collapsed onto the couch of exhaustion because of, and I quote, “It’s a really big hill!” Me and Dad were just staring at them and wondering what all the complaining was about. For tea, we had a lovely bit of silverside that Pa won at some raffles down at the senior cit’s. With Nan being Nan, she was trying to load me up with as much food as possible. I returned the gesture by eating as much food as possible. But it wasn’t long before Homeland Security (Mum & Dad) stepped in to stop me. To finish the night off, we all watched Doc Martin on ABC1. You gotta love the Doc. Always being as blunt and as intrusive as possible, although I think his softer side is beginning to show. A steep race down the hill and back home. We were all in bed by 9:30.
Sunday, 20th June 2010:
Woke up at around 8:30. A bit sleepy after playing Apollo Justice into the night, and a twisted back from the bed, but otherwise fine. Mahala was up and watching “The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy”, and Nan & Pa had just arrived after church finished. While they were here, we watched a group of blokes lower a TV cabinet from a 2nd storey flat with two ropes. They did a really good job and the cabinet made it down safely. Although I’m sure that there was a better way to get it down. I’m sure they didn’t pull it up to begin with.
A quick shower and pant change later, we headed out to Burleigh West shopping centre to have a look around. Dad parked the car under a tree facing the highway. He hopped out and started feeling the leaves that were hanging over it, just to see if they had the potential to drip something onto the car. We started walking towards the centre itself, when Dad saw a spot that he thought was even better. Quickly he went back to the car and re-parked it in the new spot. Mum wasn’t with Dad at the time, and when we left the centre she was perplexed at why the car moved and said, “Weren’t we parked over there?”.
In the centre, I found a book called “Cyanide and Happiness” for $22 at Angus & Robertson. I might end up buying it as I have seen a few of the authors’ works before and I like their sense of humour. Mum found little Spot plushies that were wearing a Santa hat and being cute. She bought 3. One for me, one for Mahala and one for Ella, our baby cousin. For lunch, I had a roast pork sandwich and diet coke. $10 bucks all up, the meat and gravy was beautiful but everything else was terrible. I might have to start requesting for whole grain bread instead of the default white. At EB, I found out that the 2 games I’m looking for have been discontinued and are outrageously hard to find. I’ll have to wait until I get out to Robina before I pull the plug on the games. I pushed a packet of black jellybeans onto Mum in the chemist and she thought that it wouldn’t hurt if she bought them. I must remember this tactic in future incase I want anything else.
At Safeway, we saw what was possibly the most expensive produce ever sold in Australia, and a rather weird looking banana at Aldi. Pictures follow:
After coming home, the family split into groups. Me & Dad went down to the Salvo’s store, and Mum & Mahala pissed off somewhere else. Since it was Sunday, everything was either closed or closing, and we didn’t have that much time to look at anything. We caught up with Mahala & Mum soon after that, and headed towards the boardwalk. Me & Mahala went over to Cold Rock and each got an ice cream. I had Cake Batter and sour bears, whilst Mahala had Choc Chip and mini M&M’s. In my eyes, the whole point of a Cold Rock is to see who can come up with the weirdest and wackiest sounding ice cream combinations possible. Next time I go, I hope to have Bubblegum and Wizz Fizz.
We all sat down on the coast and I discovered that Dad’s phone can take a very good panoramic photo. It follows:
After finishing of our ice creams, we went back to the apartment and had tea. On the menu tonight we have Spaghetti, and whatever drink you can be bothered to get out of the fridge. Whilst transferring pictures from Mum’s phone to Mahala’s laptop with the MicroSD card that I have for my DS homebrew card, I accidentally deleted all of my games. Looks like I’ll only be playing legal games from now on. We watched Doctor Who after that and then went to bed. We were all in by 10:00.
Monday, 21st June 2010:
Woke up at 8:30 to the smell of croissants. Mum and Dad had already been up for over an hour and had been down to the bakery to buy them. On my croissant, I had silverside, cheese and wholegrain mustard. The following explosion of flavour can best be described with the following sound: MMmmmMmMMMmmMMMmMMMggggGGGgGGGGGhhHHhHHhHHhHH
HhhhhHHHHhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Note: I actually made that sound as I was typing it and people are looking at me really weirdly now.) It was really good. It was like a party was in my mouth and everyone was made of marshmallows, that were cooked at the right temperature, and had been dipped in a bowl of premium tasty, and the bowl was made out of chocolate bavarian, and the chocolate was Lindt, and it all melted and made me fall down to my knees and cry. Except the croissants were that x10.
I ate my “God Croissant” while watching “Power Rangers, Operation: Overdrive”. It was quite good, but it was an episode from the middle of a particular story involving buff snowmen wearing tiaras. At any random moment they would get into a fight with each other for no reason I could see. It contained all the story ideas that an episode of Power Rangers should. The leading Power Ranger ‘Mack’ is caught and nearly killed unless his Dad hands over the almighty tiara. The bad guy escapes with the tiara the Rangers worked so hard to get. They then vow to get the tiara back and stop the bad guy from turning the world into his own winter wonderland. Cross to the bad guy’s secret lair in an open cut mine. He puts the tiara on and becomes a really powerful bad guy. Cue the Rangers, and a short monologue later a fight sequence lasting about 15 minutes begins. With the bad guy defeated, they all celebrate their victory, until they discover ‘Mack’ lying face down in the dirt. Back at HQ, ‘Mack’ is being scanned by the resident Butler/Intel Agent/Nurse/Engineer/Weaponry guy. He declares him dead. Soon after that, some sort of crazy guy in a costume appears in a puff of smoke holding the tiara. He says that the tiara is powerful enough to restore life. ‘Mack’s’ Dad says it won’t work because he was a ROBOT. He puts the tiara on him anyway and it brings him back to life. I suppose it charged his batteries or something. All the Rangers are standing outside bidding farewell to ‘Mack’ and his Dad when a girl walks around the corner with a Yeti. One of the Rangers is especially pleased to she her and gives her a hug. Cue the credits and a scene in which ‘Mack’ and his Dad play ‘Dress up as Indiana Jones’. It might not sound like much, but it is the Power Rangers after all. They could make an entire episode about ‘Mack’ making a Latté and it would still be awesome.
I hacked away at the hours until 11:40 by playing Portal on Mahala’s laptop. I’m running the game full low and it got up to 87˚C. I could feel the hairs on my legs melting into my pajama pants. The battery also went from around 89% to just 19% within an hour. I miss my computer.
We went down the street to have a bit more of a look around after Mahala got her homework closer to completion. On the way down, I noticed a barbershop that was called “The Godbarber”.
It had the logo and the colour scheme of the popular series of movies. I’m amazed they haven’t been sued yet. We stopped at the “Juice Bar” and got heaps of lollies for only $7.15. I also scooped up some great “Toy Story 3” postcards.
They have been released in a set of 4 and I have 2 of them. The “Juice Bar” is the sort of shop with rows and rows of tubs with scoops on top of them. We always head for the lolly isle and get about a kilo of lollies. We also stopped at “That Shop” and had a really good look around. About 30 minutes later, we stepped out of “That Shop” with loot in hand. I got an “L” themed wallet and I am ever so glad that I did. I’m going to take extra special care of this bad boy.
Before returning home, we stopped off at the newsagents so that Dad could ask for a bus timetable. I immediately headed for the gaming magazines and started to flip though an issue of “Game Informer”. The gaming magazines were located directly across from the adult magazines, and a tall fat bloke who had his shirt tucked into his shorts, was getting stuck into a porn mag. Flipping through each one slowly, he would put ones that he’d finished back on the rack and pick other ones up. Feeling very creeped out, I put my magazine down and fled from the store as fast I could.
That night we had chicken fillets that had been marinating in something tasty. When Dad noticed that Mahala hadn’t eaten all of hers, he disguised it as Nando’s chicken to try and get her to finish all of it, but she didn’t end up eating it. After watching “Good Game”, we all piled into bed. I filled up my new wallet and played Mario Party DS on my, er… DS. During the night, Mum went “YYYYYYYYyyYYYYyyyyyYYyyYYyyYYYyyyYyeeeeEEEEEeEEEEEEEEEEeeEE
EeEEeEEEEEEEEE!!!”, then she started tossing and turning wildly. I’ll have to ask her what that was all about.
Just before I got to sleep, I heard a slow trickle of water coming from above the ceiling. That’s strange, it’s not raining. It stopped for a while and I forgot about it. Them there was an almighty flush of water that woke me up again. I heard sound pounding coming from the ceiling and I was really confused. It sounded like there were pipes in the wall carrying the water down. But there are no pipes in the wall. Oh… wait… this is a multi-storey apartment. The sounds were of a tenant taking a dump on upper floor. Such a lovely noise to go to sleep with.
Very funny. Hope you don't mind but I thought Calypso would enjoy your writing style so I've invited her to read them too. Julie
ReplyDelete